Confirmed India: 7 – 9.09.2013

Arriving into Jaipur, we were exhausted from a nights broken sleep, thanks to one very loud crying baby. We had pre-booked accommodation (more so, Vijay had contacted his friend who owned a more luxurious hotel and basically guilted him into offering us a room there at a very discounted price), and I’d spoken with the manager the night before to organise pick-up for this morning, but no one bothered to turn up. As a result, we were hounded by auto drivers wanting a sale and spent more than an hour driving around from guest house to guest house with a tuk tuk driver who constantly spun bull-shit about how he was so honest and fair and how we could trust him, but said nothing and made a very guilty face when I pulled him up on a very clear lie.

Welcome to Jaipur.

Eventually, after visiting guest house after guest house and turning down ridiculous priced rooms with either very rude owners or dirty sheets, and getting tired of tuk tuk mans attempts to make us book a tour of Jaipur with him, we finally demanded to be taken to the hotel we’d originally booked.

In our room, we spent some time abusing the free wi-fi, like all good travelers would, before heading out around 9:30am to see what Jaipur had to offer. We caught a cycle-rickshaw into town, which was a nice and different experience; traffic is certainly hectic in this big, big city.

We headed straight for the Lassiwala; a hole-in-the-wall famous for it’s fresh lassis that are served in large ceramic cups. Delicious.

After breakfast, most of the shops along the main road were still shut, so we walked to the Raj Mandir cinema – a famous attraction because of its beauty and grand details – and booked ourselves a ticket each for a latest release Bollywood movie that opened just yesterday. We adore the Indian Bollywood movies, and it was a must to experience Bollywood at this very grand place.

With a few hours to enjoy before our movie started, we walked to Old City – also known as the Pink City (even though the buildings are more of an orangey-red colour). We walked through the bazaars; past textile shops, shoes, jewelery and bits and pieces galore; touters trying to sell us things constantly, frequently purposely blocking our path and attempting to physically push me into their store; it got to the point where I had to force them out of my way. Regardless, I really enjoyed the short time we spent there, and we planned to go back and take more time.

In the cinema waiting are, we were in awe of the buildings interior and beautiful detailing. It was stunning! Entering the actual cinema, we were blown away by how massive it was; it must’ve seated more than a thousand people!
Once the lights dimmed and the curtain lifted, the trailers began and, almost instantly, the crowd went WILD – screaming, laughing, whistling, cheering, shouting. This happened continuously throughout the movie; when the tough guy performed a stunt, when the bad guy got caught, when the beautiful girl entered the room, a first kiss… it was hilarious! We loved the experience as much as the movie, and the dancing and singing  scenes were pretty awesome! Everyone seemed to be in the cinema; from the very young (babies and toddlers who loved to cry) to the elderly, and plenty of people in between; many who seemed to be taking phone call after phone call or holding important conversations during the movie.

On exiting, having stuffed our bodies with too much pop corn and not having slept much during the overnight train ride, we were exhausted. It was late afternoon, and we decided to head back to the room for a rest, but were intercepted by a man selling hand-made Jaipur puppets. He was eager to sell one, as he hadn’t made a sale today and needed some good luck, apparently. He was pushy, trying to get us to buy these terrifying puppets that we did not want nor need, dropping his price almost instantly from 300 rupees for one, to 100 rupees for two. After continuously saying no, he dropped his price again to 80 rupees and performed briefly with the puppets, whilst we continued to say no and tried to get away. He dropped his price again to 50 rupees for the two (less than a dollar) and folded them up and shoved them into my hands; I was ready to simply give him some money to leave us alone. After more pleading from him to buy, and more nos from me and Jacob, he finally gave up on me and asked Jacob one more time – to which he was met with another no. With that, puppet man gave a growl, screwed up his face in anger and flicked his hand at us with such ferocity and aggression, before furiously walking away. It was an oddly distressing experience.

We took solace in our hotel room, and made plans to go to a popular Indian grill/kebab restaurant this evening, but tuk tuk drivers refused to take us there and back for less than 800 rupees (almost half our daily budget!) We decided instead to go into town and eat at a kebab restaurant there, but once there, we found prices were way out of our backpacker’s budget, and we had to leave. This happened again, and again, and we were losing all interest in eating. There were a few street kebab places, but I refused to let Jacob eat there for fear of death by Delhi Belly.

Instead, we spent ages walking along the main road, avoiding the drunk men and beggars who sat, screaming very aggressively  at us. Traffic was hectic, and the dusty, dark footpaths made me feel very unsafe. It became a really stressful experience, and by the time we got a tuk tuk to the hotel (with a driver who surprisingly used the meter, and then refused to give us change when he saw where we were staying) it suddenly, after more than a month here in India, all became a bit too overwhelming…

I was genuinely starting to wonder if I wanted to stay here another two months, and we spent our evening chatting about possible options, and hoping tomorrow would be a different story.

Waking late and strolling into town, we declined every tuk tuk driver who refused to use the meter; we knew now after using a metered tuk tuk yesterday, that they absolutely do work and do get used here in Jaipur, and we are sick of being ripped off. We chose to walk, which led us to a little street food stall selling delicious Aloo Tikkia; the first meal I’ve had in a while that didn’t make me feel unwell the moment I ate it. It was there we met Firoj; a tuk tuk driver with a big smile who “would love to take us to Amer Fort”… We got him to take us to Anokhi instead; a beautiful textile and gift shop which, more importantly, had a café selling organic salads, coffee, fair trade teas and amazing carrot cake.

Jake and I spent a good two hours in Anokhi café, drinking coffee and devouring salad whilst we talked about how we were feeling regarding our travels in India.  I don’t know exactly what the plans are, or if any plans are made at all yet, but the idea of cutting our India travels short and heading to Japan for a couple of weeks is certainly being entertained.

With our stomachs full of coffee and salad, we moved away from Anokhi to our waiting tuk tuk driver, who was ready to show us some of Jaipur’s beauty.

We visited an area of Maharaja tombs which were stunningly beautiful, before moving on to Amer Fort, some 13 odd kilometers away. This was the first fort we actually went right into, rather than staring at it from a distance (with the exception of Jodhpur, where we almost went in). The papping wasn’t too extreme here, to my surprise, and together we were able to enjoy the climb up to the fort. Inside, a film shoot was taking place and lights and cameras were everywhere; every one seemed to want to get in on the action and the crowds around the film sets were huge. Lots of props and colourful cloths filled the massive open area, and it was all a bit exciting, and very, very beautiful.

Amer Fort was magnificent, that’s for sure, and those who lived here once upon a time would’ve had a pretty sweet life. We spent a while here, and it was incredibly beautiful, but one thing will stand out in my memory of our visit here.
This fort had a pool room. Yes, a pool (Billiard) room. Thoughts of “This is goin’ straight to the pool room” were echoing in our heads (any Aussie should know what I’m referring to), and made us smile.

Climbing stairs that lead to the unknown, we explored the hallways and lanes of the fort as though it was a maze. We were stopped at one point by an Indian man who was delighted two whities had found their way to him, and forced both his hesitant wife and us to pose for “just one photo” (which is never, and was not just one!) with him.

On exiting the fort, we were met again by our driver who drove us all the way back to Jaipur’s Old Pink City, where we stopped for chai before heading back to the same Aloo Tikkia street food stall we started at this morning. We had another 40 rupee dinner there, then stopped at the near by convenience store for some bottles of water before heading back to the hotel for the evening…

Late at night, when Jake opened one of the bottles of water we purchased, a foul smell filled the air. On closer inspection, the water was a murky colour and filled with inconsistant specks of stuff, which had not been visible when the water had come straight from the fridge covered in condenstaion. We’d checked the seal at the time of purchase, which had been perfect, but hadn’t ever thought to check the bottom of the bottle, which in this case, had been punctured, re-filled with toxic water, then sealed with a dollop of glue. We’d heard of this type of thing happening, and had been cautious to always check seals the whole time we’d been here in India, but seeing this in our own hands put a knot in my stomach. It made me angry that there could be such a sheer disregard for the health of others, and that we’d come very close to getting very sick.

We hoped our last day in Jaipur tomorrow would be better; we had no set plans, but another trip to Anokhi for salads, coffee and carrot cake was definitely on the cards.

 …

We woke early on our last day in Jaipur and spent a few hours discussing and researching flights, countries, budget options and places to visit in Asia that could be possible options if we did actually decided to leave India earlier than planned.

Eventually deciding we needed to leave the hotel at some point, we walked down around 10am to the same Aloo Tikkia place for breakfast again, where Jake ate dodgy looking panni puri and my food was luke-warm. Hmmm… we were definitely getting a coke to kill any nasty lurking bacteria.

We arranged a tuk tuk driver to take us to Anokhi, but I guess he got impatient after a few minutes and drove off. Instead, we flagged down another tuk tuk driver who agreed to take us to Anokhi, and even better, agreed to use his meter that actually, we discovered, didn’t work. When we gave him 50 rupees for the short drive (way more than it should’ve cost), he demanded more and we got out of the tuk tuk and simply walked away whilst he yelled at us for more money. Sigh… coffee will cure this deflated feeling, surely?

More coffee, more carrot cake and a brie, tomato and basil baguette was enjoyed whilst we talked more and more about what the next couple of months of travel would mean for us.

Buzzing from caffeine, we headed to Old City – Pink City – to explore a little more of the bazaar area. It was hot, crowded and noisy; we discovered it is Ganesh’s birthday today – Happy Birthday Ganesh! – which meant lots of people were busy preparing for celebrations and the sights and sounds were really interesting! We explored for a while, but by mid afternoon we were eager to look into our travel options, make some sort of decision about what we were going to do (and possibly where else we were going to go) and also start planning for Nepal – if we are leaving India early, Nepal will be coming up very soon.

Well after midnight and just hours before we need to wake up to take the train from Jaipur to Agra, we booked our flights. We are going to Japan. We are leaving India early, and welcoming a new country into our Asian Adventure.

After seeing our flights confirmed on the screen, I felt oddly relieved to know that we would be leaving India soon, and at the same time a bit ‘shocked’ by the idea that our time here was now only going to be a few days more. Our route would no longer include the very North of India; instead, we would travel from Jaipur – Agra – Lucknow as planned, then from Lucknow to Varanasi, then either fly from Varanasi to Nepal, or to Delhi by train, then fly from there….

For now, tomorrow we’re off to Agra at 7am: the Taj Mahal is in our sights! To make things even more exciting, we are traveling there on the Shatabdi Express – apparently a very nice Indian train indeed…

Let’s see what Agra has in store for us.

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Rat India: 5 – 6.09.2013

The train ride from Jaisalmer to Bikaner was tiring; overwhelmingly loud noises, the incredible speed of the train and the fact that I frequently had to hold onto the rails to stop myself falling off the top bunk had me wide-awake for most of the journey, fretting that our train was going to de-rail. Maybe a tad over dramatic – who’s to say?

We had planned to Couch Surf here in Bikaner,  however, when we got off the train, some random guy by the name of Ali was there waiting for us; turns out his friend from the hotel we stayed at in Jaisalmer had made a call to him to say we were coming, and Ali was well prepared at 6am to take us to his friend’s hotel he was sure we’d prefer. Oh, India.
It’s not like we were difficult to spot on the Bikaner train platform either; two whities amongst a crowd of thousands of Indians: not one other tourist stepped off the train…

Our couch surfing plans fell through, and we headed instead to a guest house I’d read great things about: Vijay Guest House (around 4km out of town). Vijay, the man himself, wearing a full set of white Kurta Pyjamas and bright orange crocks, with a curly Rajisthani mustache and a big smile welcomed us.
He was generous and kind, and knew how to treat tourists. What a relief. He offered to take us into town with him around 11am, when he was going in to the market area. We took him up on his offer, and traveled by car to the old town area.

Bikaner is a desert city – right in the middle of the Thar Desert – but its jam packed with people; it’s not such a big place, but it’s damn busy and has a population of around 600,000. Once you take into account the number of cows, camels and dogs walking the streets, that number probably doubles or triples.
It is hot here; so hot that the heat exhausted us quickly. We found solace in a very local-only sweet shop, Chotu Motu Joshi Hotel, and filled our empty stomachs with delicious lassis, puris with potato and the apparently “must have here because it’s the best in town” rasgulla – another Indian sweet we couldn’t stomach.

We had an hour and a half to enjoy before meeting Vijay, but the heat, the constant hard staring from people, the photo photo going on and the hectic traffic made us feel the need to retreat. It felt as if this place had never seen a tourist before; we were something everyone needed to get a very good, long look at: something that is really starting to exhaust me.

Back at Vijay’s, we slept the afternoon away, emerging eventually to get chai from the vendor outside the guest house. The many men drinking there were fascinated by us, and every time we went there we had a crowd of people wanting to talk to us, stare at us, call their friends over to see us, shake our hands… Funny.

We spent our one night in Bikaner in our safety bubble – choosing to eat dinner at our guest house and watch the night fall over the town whilst I strummed my ukulele and looked back on our travels in India to-date.

I’m beginning to have mixed feelings towards India, and I’m starting to find traveling here more of a challenge each day. There are so many factors that make each day in India incredible, interesting and lively, yet at the same time unbelievably challenging, frustrating and distressing. I have found myself becoming less patient with those who try to take advantage of us, try to rip us off, those who stare and photograph us, those who try to cheat us. At the beginning of this trip I was able to accept it, laugh it off and say – Oh well, I guess we have to expect that here! – but now, I don’t feel like I have to accept it. I’m growing a bit tired of having to argue with people to treat us fairly, and argue with people to leave us alone. It’s exhausting to feel so skeptical and not be able to trust people around us. It can be stressful worrying about our safety every time we get into a tuk tuk, walk the streets, meet someone new, travel by train overnight, eat anything….
It’s upsetting to feel that I can’t trust those around me; even more so those who may be genuinely nice (it can be very hard to differentiate between genuine and not-so-genuine offers of “may I help you?”). I find myself having to talk to people aggressively, or sternly, simply because I feel here it is necessary at times. I don’t go around yelling at everyone, of course, but I’m starting to find it difficult not to get angry when people feel they can harass us to almost-breaking point, and take advantage of us simply because we are white, and therefore, must be rich and happy to hand over our hard earned money.

I still love India, that’s for sure – it’s a country I want to come back to, explore more of, become captivated by over and over. We were like children in a candy store when we arrived here; the chaos and traffic and people and sounds, light, colours all captivated our attention. Now, trying to constantly dodge shit, pot holes, deadly traffic, cheating touters and upturned or missing pavement isn’t so wonderful. Perhaps what I am trying to say is simply, whilst this country is truly incredible, and never ceases to amaze me, I’m starting to get a bit tired…

I think it’s quite common for people traveling in India to feel this way; I hear and read a lot about this whole “loving India – hating India stage” process that people seem to go through; maybe I’ve reached a new “stage?”

On our second morning in Bikaner, we walked from Vijay’s guest house to the bus stop, which was about a 50 minute walk down the road. Tuk tuks offered us many ridiculously priced rides which we declined on pure principal; preferring to walk in the extreme heat on the road and dust (no footpaths), rather than be ripped off.

We took a bus (after Rock, Paper, Scissoring whether or not we actually wanted to make the trip) out to Deshnoke, a town about a 40 minute bus ride away through dusty, sleepy desert towns. Apparently when people come to Bikaner, it is rare that they don’t make a trip out here, simply to visit one place: Karni Mata Temple: The Rat Temple. I guess Rock, Paper, Scissor was right – we had to visit.

The idea of a temple full of thousands of rats, for me, does not bring about the most pleaseant thoughts. However, it does intrigue me…just a little.
Karni Mata is worshiped as the incarnation of the goddess Durga; she was a Hindu woman who lived a very elegant and revered life, and is known for her temple in Deshnoke, for which she laid the foundation stone.
Karni Mata temple is not like any other temple we’ve visited, for the fact that it is home to around 20 thousand-odd (very sick looking) rats, which are considered to be sacred animals and highly respected by the thousands of pilgrims (and curious tourists like ourselves) who visit this temple daily.
The story behind this temple goes something like this: Karni Mata’s son, Laxman, died, so she asked Yama – the god of death – to bring him back to life. Refusing to do so, Yama instead allowed Laxman and all of Karni Mata’s male children (she must’ve had a lot of them…) to be reincarnated as rats.
The rats here are fed daily by the thousands of worshiping visitors, who bring with them bowls upon bowls of India sweets and milk for the rats to enjoy.

On arrival, we got off the bus to be greeted with touters, tuk tuk drivers, beggars, dust and dirt and a LOT of staring. Covering my head with my scarf barely made a difference.
We walked over to the area where we had to deposit – very unwillingly – our shoes, and demanded some sort of material slipper; there’s no way I was walking bare footed through a temple where thousands of rats live, eat, poo and die.

Looking like absolutely ridiculous tourists, with material bags covering our feet, a thousand people stared as we lined up to enter the temple. Staring back at the thousands of bare feet around me, I felt sick already by the sheer thought of what we – and they – were about to stand on. I’d love to see the results of a bacteria swab of the temple floor; or maybe, I wouldn’t…

On entering the temple, we saw a rat.

Then two…
Then a thousand. Oh, fuck, get me out of here now.

Apparently it’s good luck if you see a white (albino) rat, or if a rat runs directly over your foot. Even more so, it’s considered to be a prestigious honour to eat food nibbled by the rats themselves. Oh, I’m about to be sick.
I was more concerned about what diseases I may contract during my five minutes inside the temple than I was spotting a white rat, and someone help me if one even so much as came near my foot!

Whilst bare footed pilgrims fed the diseased looking rats bowls of sugar and Indian sweets, I tried to stand as still as possible for fear of stepping on any more grainy rat poo. I watched as two women scraped the grey-black dusty, oily rat-germ infested grime from the floor and touched it to their foreheads, leaving a greasy grey mark. I almost vomited, but then stopped myself for fear of attracting rats.

We wandered around the temple, avoiding the rat poo and many cameras shoved in our faces, to see a group of pilgrims touching their hand to every rat-waste-covered step as they ascended to another rat-infested area. So many rituals seemed to be taking place, none of which we could comprehend, and we were shocked by all of what we saw, to say the least.
The fascination and shock that India offers us never seems to end.

After the eight hundredth person had photographed us – instead of the temple they had come to visit – and a rat came remotely close to me, it was time to leave. We escaped into the sun light, unscathed and without an albino rat sighting. No eternal good luck for us, I guess.

What an experience.

At the shoe stand, it was almost impossible to get our shoes back, let alone put them onto our feet, which were now thankfully free of the bacteria-sodden slippers. A massive crowd had forgotten they were meant to be visiting the rats, and instead was more fascinated with these two terrified whities. The crowd formed around us while the shoe guy demanded we pay him, right underneath the sign that said “free service.” Whilst I argued that no, actually, this is a free service and just because we are white-skinned doesn’t mean you can rip us off  (a rant I am getting very well versed in, and a little bit sick of having to repeat), a screaming baby was shoved into Jacob’s arms. I tried to escape from the pappping, but it was no use; still trying to put my shoes onto my feet, a plump woman grabbed my arm with such a grip she left a bruise. I was forced into the photo with Jake, standing a few steps up from everyone else, feeling like some sort of mistaken celebrity on a podium. The huge crowd had doubled – all with cameras out – as Jake and I made ugly faces and the baby cried some more. It was a very weird experience, to add to what we’d already just seen, and I continue to wonder how many hideous photographs are now floating around Indian Facebook of these two Aussie tourists.

Escaping the crowds, we emptied an entire bottle of hand sanitizer onto our hands and ran to the nearest Bikaner-bound bus. We were safe.

Back in Bikaner, we headed for Chotu Motu Joshi again; we needed a lassi. There was a lot we wanted to see today, the Fort, Old Town, the Havelis… but we ended up simply walking to The Garden Café where we happened to meet Ali, the same guy from yesterday morning who met us at the station. Strangely enough, he knew we did not stay with the couch surfer, and furthermore, he knew where we WERE staying… he proudly told us that he knew exactly how many tourists had and were arriving in Bikaner today, where they were arriving from, where the tourists were staying, and conversely, how many tourists were leaving Bikaner today on the buses and trains. He explained he “has connections, and anyone in India that does business does too.” This makes me incredibly uncomfortable about traveling here , as though we are being constantly watched, followed, observed by those in the tourism industry, and all in a very sinister sort of way. It’s something I’ve started to suspect recently, after noticing sometimes people just seem know things about us, when really it seems impossible… but, Ali confirmed it, explaining the people at the station see the tourists leaving one destination/arriving at the next and make a phone call, then someone makes another phone call, and then another phone call, and then another… “That’s how we do business,” he said.

Chatting with Ali was an experience; he was able to answer our “taboo” questions about India, but I never felt quite sure what his motives were. It’s funny; he was proud to say that if we want to travel well here, we should lie about everything; who we are, what are names are, where we are from, what are jobs are, where we live, how many times we’ve been in India, where we are staying… basically, he explained “anytime someone talks to you, they want to know where you from, how long you be in India, where you come from, where you stay… simply so they can calculate how much money they can get out of you; how badly they can rip you off.” I felt really saddened by this, and my deflated feeling about traveling here was starting to come back.
Of course, I know this is absolutely not true of all Indian people – we have met some incredible people here – but it’s a shame that he was able to confidently – and proudly! – make such a generalized statement like this.

He showed us his shop – of course – but he was adamant he did not want to sell us anything. He then gave us a hand-made bag as a gift, but then explained that every one in town will know where this bag came from – his shop – and made us promise to tell every touter in the street who asked us the price, that we bought it for 600 rupees… Not sure what his intentions were, but when someone did later ask us, we didn’t tell them anything.

We left Ali eventually, feeling still unsure about what our meeting with him had been like; we just never were really able to trust him, even when he was being seemingly generous – or, is it that we just can’t seem to trust anyone here anymore?

We wandered about the old town, taking photographs and dodging cows and touters, looking at the beautiful havelis and old buildings, the market stalls and food being cooked. People all seemed to want a photograph of them taken; funny, how opposite it is for me.
Passing by a women’s clothing shop, I wandered in and ended up buying myself some Indian-style clothing; I’ve been told several times by locals and tourists alike, that wearing Indian clothing will take a little bit of the ‘edge’ off of the unwanted attention I draw in from way too many Indian men. Whilst some times I feel this attention is purely innocent and sheer interest, more often than not I am starting to feel very uncomfortable from the staring.

After my little shopping spree, we ended up walking all the way to the Bikaner Fort, where at night it was lit up and looked quite impressive. We never made it inside, but it was pretty impressive from a distance regardless.

From the fort, we flagged down a tuk tuk who drove us back to Vijay’s Guest house with his neon lights flashing and Hindi music BLEARING. I could barely hear when we stepped out, so naturally, I needed a chai from our favourite chai joint, complete with all the local men who loved to stare and were oddly desperate to know how much a chai would cost in Australia.

Back at the guest house, we were treated to a home cooked meal again before collecting our bags and waiting for our tuk tuk to the train station. Of course, minutes before we needed to be at the station, Jacob had a small accident; smashing a glass bottle accidentally and sending glass flying into his leg. Finally, our enormous medical kit came in handy! A smothering of betadine, some steri-strips and a piece of opsite and we were good to go, Jake a little worse for wear…

We boarded our overnight train – our 3AC sleeper class bunks were both top berths again – and lay under the thick covers whilst the air conditioning pumped full blast.
Bikaner had been an interesting destination, and I wondered what Jaipur would have in store for us.

Desert Girl and Camen Man India: 2 – 3.09.2013

Stiff all over from too many hours (for a novice) spent sitting [bouncing] on a camel’s back, exhausted from a sleepless night, covered in sand, sweat, sunscreen and insect repellant, smelling like a camel and suffering from terrifying flashbacks of having to squat behind a bush to relieve myself earlier that day, we had arrived back from 35 hours spent in Rajasthan’s Thar Desert… It was brilliant.

Driving out of Jaisalmer, 40-odd kilometers into the Thar Desert in an open jeep, at 8am it was already starting to get hot. Eventually, when the city ended and the landscape became a blur of various desert plants, herds of cows and goats, the occasional camel, a lot of red dirt and countless wind turbines, our  jeep parked and we met our “Desert Family”  for the next two days – Mr. Kahn, our camel man guide, and our three camels. Jake quickly forgot the name of his camel, but he was big and white and docile, just like Jake, so I like to now refer to the camel as JJ (Jacob Junior). My camel – Kalu – was the smallest of the lot, a little more tanned than JJ and a lot more stubborn. He had a rebellious streak and didn’t like to do what he was told; he preferred to do things in his own time and enjoyed winging every time he had to stand up or sit down; funny – sounds similar to me. Kalu, being the feisty rebel that he was, flicked me into the air every time he stood up, which was so fast I had to hold on each time with all my strength. Kalu was a handsome boy; he had cute ears and loved a good head pat every now and then, and especially loved when his saddle was removed and he could splay his back legs and stand in a hilarious position.
Mr. Kahn’s favourite camel was Victoria, so of course we made sure he rode him. Victoria was a big dark brown coloured boy who was obedient, calm and plodded along quite happily; much like Mr. Kahn himself.

Comfortable in our saddles (as comfortable as a camel’s back can get), together the three of us and our camels began our trek into the Thar desert – yep; we were finally here, bouncing about in our saddles in the heat of the harsh sun, living the Desert Girl and Camel Man dream…

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Desert Girl in the desert

The scenery was surprisingly green and plants, bushes and shrubs dotted most of the ground. Monsoon had been mighty this year, and as a result plants were flourishing – good for feeding the thousands of cows, goats and camels that trot about the Thar, herded by children and frail elderly alike. Amongst the shrubbery, thousands – literally – of wind turbines protruded high into the air, turning gracefully in the wind.

The heat bore down on us, but it was more than bearable; it was thoroughly enjoyable. We stopped at a “local desert village” which was more like a house in the middle of no where, where a grandmother and several men and naked babies were sitting in the sand. They gave us chai, yoghurt and a melon.

We stopped for lunch and “small siesta” under the shade of a large tree, where the camels were set free of their heavy saddles, in order to eat and mingle as they pleased. Mr. Kahn prepared us a lunch that was surprisingly varied, very authentic and full of flavor! We enjoyed some sort of Indian deep-fried snack made with lentil flour, onion, chilli and spices, and then had a large curry, fresh made chapatti and rice – all cooked over an open flame. Our meal was washed down with litre after litre of water, which we diligently sterilized with our Steri-Penyep, it finally came in handy. (Much unlike the Camel Man we saw who drank with his hands from the same filthy lake that the camels were drinking from. I think he may have possibly died from that mistake. If not, he needs a Steri-pen).
After lunch, dishes were hygienically scrubbed and washed with simply the desert sand (much to my horror) before we took shelter from the heat of the day and snoozed on a blanket.
Meanwhile the camels had escaped somewhere into the desert to feast on every possible bit of greenery, and finally around 3pm, Mr. Kahn made the trek to retrieve them whilst Jake and I packed up “camp.”

Camel Man, JJ, Desert Girl, Handsome Kalu and a very chilled Victoria

Camel Man, JJ, Desert Girl, Handsome Kalu and a very chilled Victoria

JJ and Victoria were happy enough sitting down to be re-saddled, chewing and smiling as Mr. Kahn loaded them back up with blankets, cooking utensils and 40 litres of water. My handsome Kalu, on the other hand, winged and complained before finally giving in, jerking me onto his back so quickly as if to say “take that!”… Camels are funny animals.

More camel riding, more wind turbines, more goats, sheep and cows being herded by children no older than ten or so…, a few more villages and the promise of desert sand dunes; we found ourselves heading further and further into the desert. Mr. Kahn entertained us by explaining important “Camel College Desert Knowledge” information, such as “No chapatti, No Chai, No Woman, No Cry,” “Full Power, 24 Hour, No Toilet, No Shower” and “No worry, have some Curry.” We are learning… slowly…
Our backs, legs and bottoms had had enough by around 5pm when we finally reached the incredible dunes. It was like a dream. Desert Girl (me) and Camel Man (Jake) were out of our saddles instantly (much to my handsome Kalu’s delight!) and running, sliding, jumping, crawling and surfing the endless dunes. Meanwhile, the camels once again got to trot off into the desert shrubbery to eat and frolic.

Desert Frolicking

Desert Frolicking

Sandy

Sandy

Desert Girl

Desert Girl

The wind blew the sand across the dunes in a magical flowing motion, and stepping into the dunes was like nothing I can describe. The music from Aladdin’s Arabian Nights was filling my head and we totally saw an Indian guy out in the dunes who looked like Jaffar… “Arabiannnn niiiiiiii-iiights…..”
We spent a good hour or so jumping in the dunes, watching the sun set, and comparing our fat camels with another safari group’s thin and injured ones (according to one of the guys on the tour who had to ride a camel with a painful looking hump).

"Arabiannnn Niiiights..."

“Arabiannnn Niiiights…”

As the sun went down, chai was served, along with curry and chapatti, Steri-Penned water and a decent amount of sand, which whipped across the desert in the wind. Then, with dinner eaten and the sun setting, Mr. Kanh decided he couldn’t be bothered with us two whities any more and went off to eat dinner with the other camel man down at his camp. Fantastic.

With no light and wind whipping up sand from every direction, everywhere, we were forced to get into bed: two thin mattresses and heavy blankets that, within only a few minutes of being set out, were now covered in more than an inch of sand. This is when things started to get a bit shit.
An attempt to block blowing sand using the camel saddles was feeble; and the big black desert beetles had come out – along with eighty thousand other insects and creepy crawlies – which all seemed to congregate around and on me! Using our scarves to cover our entire faces was almost useless; sand came from every direction and made its way through the material weavings.

Whilst I spent a happy couple of hours swatting insects, burying black beetles so they would no longer harass me, rubbing sand from my eyes and shaking inches of the stuff out of my hair, Jake was on animal watch. Since we’d spotted a group of wild dogs circling our camp and a happy camel who’d trotted over to watch us sleeping, and the fact that Mr. Khan had pissed off never to return, as it seemed, we were stuck in the dunes coming to the realization that actually, the desert is nice but this Desert Girl is probably more of a Civilisation Girl.

Finally, Mr. Kahn had to return – he’d spent a good few hours wandering the desert to retrieve our naughty camels, who had walked for kilometers away from our camp in order to get some good shrubs.  He didn’t seem worried about possible wild dog attacks, and instantly went to sleep. Oh. So no sitting around a fire listening to him sing and entertain us, like we were promised? Okay.

On account of the fact that I had earlier seen two wild dogs strutting near by, that my body was now covered in more than an inch of sand – which was growing by the minute! – and the fact that it was actually surprisingly cold in the desert, I didn’t sleep much that night… Desert Girl was more of a “Wishing it was Sun Rise Girl.”

Sun rise came and Mr. Kahn was busy making chai. I woke to what felt like an entire desert wedged under my eye lids and in my mouth. Desert Girl was a bit over the desert.

What I believe was once our beds for the evening, but is now covered in sand

What I believe was once our beds for the evening, but is now covered in sand

Mr. Kahn went and fetched the camels back from the desert shrubs where they had spent the early morning socializing and eating half of the bushes. JJ and Victoria sat happily as they were saddled, whilst my dear Kalu winged and complained – much like me about my sand filled eyes, mouth, hair, clothes, bum crack, shoes, backpack, camera…

On the saddles, our thighs and bottoms were already aching after only a few minutes. Oh, how I bloody love the desert.
We spent a good few hours walking and trotting – yes, trotting at a decent speed! – through the desert, which made our bums go from being quite painful to being in full blown agony.

"Look! No hands!"

“Look! No hands!”

We made a stop at a “Desert Gypsy Village” where we made the foolish mistake of getting off our camels. We were greeted by children who began begging before we could even stretch our legs, asking for everything; from the standard money, school pens and chocolates to tubes of henna, cigarettes, bottles for the malnourished naked baby, the clothing off my back, and for us to take photographs of them in return for money. They instantly, without him even noticing, opened Jake’s backpack and removed his carabina, and as a result, had to deal with Desert Girl’s growls of “DON’T TOUCH THAT!” They responded by snatching Jake’s good drink bottle from his hands.

Gypsy aka Beggar Village

Gypsy aka Beggar Village (Desert Girl is hiding behind the camels next to Mr. Kahn)

This “village” – which was essentially two mud huts and a family of impoverished beggars who spent the entire time harassing us – made me feel really saddened, and I was glad to be back on the saddle where Mr. Kahn simply stated “It’s best for you safe, you stay on camel.”… Aaaahh….Thanks for telling us that now… this information may have been more useful before we were bought here…

More trotting, more cows and goats, a few desert people who were obviously much better at being desert people than I was, countless wind turbines and relentless heat; we made it to our lunch stop where a group of desert people joined Mr. Kahn for a chit chat.
Mr. Kahn cooked us another delicious lunch (we made the chapatti) and gave us some more “Desert Knowledge at Camel College” – yep, we’re totally Desert people now!

Goaties! I call the black one "Lucy."

Goaties! I call the black ones “Lucy.”

We played uno and tried to let our aching legs and bums recover for a few hours in the shade, whilst Mr. Kahn talked with our fellow desert people and our camels strayed again from the camp to feast.

Can you find Camel Man in this photo?

Can you find Camel Man in this photo?

Eventually, as usual, Mr. Kahn went to retrieve the camels, who had trotted far off into the desert once again. When he returned almost an hour later, we asked him how he finds them. “I look the foot prints”. Far out!… we are definitely not Desert people…
As usual, JJ and Victoria were good sports about the re-saddling, whilst Kalu was whiney and quick to throw me about when he stood back up.

A couple more hours in the desert, and we were bought to the final stop. Thank goodness – my bum could not handle one more trot!
We waited for our Jeep to arrive whilst Mr. Kahn sang us his version of Aqua’s “Barbie Girl”, which goes something like “I am Camel Man, in the bloody sand, life is fantastic, bottom like plastic…” (he made it up himself apparently).

Finally, our Jeep arrived and we said goodbye to our Desert College teacher, Mr. Kahn. Walking over to the jeep with legs so sore I looked like a heavily pregnant woman walking, my bottom rejoiced as we hauled ourselves into the jeep…
40 minutes or so later we reached Jaisalmer, and as we passed a group of men sitting around a campfire in the dirt alongside twenty-odd cows, a few goats, a pig and amongst traffic that could kill, our driver said “welcome back to civilization!”…

Comfortably back in our hotel room, Desert Girl and Camel Man had had enough of the desert for now (possibly for a life time) but, I’d be lying if I said we didn’t love every minute of that experience… Okay, okay. I am lying. I hated the wild dogs.

And the insects.

But that’s all.

…Now, to wash the sand from my skin and sleep for a week.